As promised...a public apology to Vaci for not putting up her blog from our first home UAA game on October 9th. Here it is...finally. In all it's glory.
The Legend of the Murder Mystery Mob: A True Tale of Glory
By Kristina Vaci
It was a dark and stormy night, the year was 1914 and only a fool would be caught out in the foggy streets of London. But that’s irrelevant, so we fast-forward to the rugged streets of Cleveland, 2010. The city had been swept up into a life of violence, liquor, and jazz and rival gangs were constantly trying to win street cred. Somehow the current lead gang was the Pansies…or well Violets invading over from New York City. They were trying to slowly take over the world, which brings us to October 6, 2010. Laura, the drifter, was walking the streets glaring down anyone who even thought to look her way. She’d been laying low due to the violet outbreaks when she heard a cry of pain coming from a small alleyway. Always looking for a good fight, Laura dashed in to find a short blond girl standing over a couple of what appeared to be buff football players whimpering. As Laura approached she heard the girl say,
“And you can tell your boss Debuljek if he tries to prank me again I will use all of my training to get him back!” She made a few choppy arm movements that was a mixture of dance and fight to scare them away.
Laura was moved by the fight and approached the girl.
“Hey, wanna start a gang?” Laura asked. The girl eyed her up and down and figured her lanky tall figure would make her great in a fight.
“Sure, why not. Names Kristina, people call me Vaci. Don’t ask why or I have to kill you.” And with that a gang was formed. Both turned down the street, when another blond girl and what could only be a majestic bald eagle ran by quick as lightning with an entire team chasing after them. The duo looked at eachother and nodded and ran after, it had to be interesting. They came onto a field where the girl sturned around thinking they were done for. The team had an intense look in their eyes. Laura and Vaci looked and saw that the single girl had a golden ball and the other one, who turned out to be a body building keeper, was already knocked down in pain. The two girls must have stolen it. Without thinking they rushed to their side and backed them up. The team of girls went into a 4-5-1 formation to start the attack. Suddenly a flash of orange came out of nowhere and joined next to Laura. She had a crazy look in her eye and smelled of oyster crackers. Together they assumed a fighting stance and got ready to battle.
The team from what could only be the slums of Hiram cried out and ran at them but after 90 long minutes were no more. The four fighters looked at each other and applauded their job well done. They picked up the keeper and dashed off into the night.
The talk on the streets were wild with news of this new mob that had murdered the Hiram ladies. No one knew who they were and had never heard of them existing before. Could this be a new rising gang to take over the City of Cleveland? Names floated about but the general consensus was the Murder Mystery Mob.
The violets were not happy to hear of this new mob and immediately took action. They assembled their top 18 fighters and declared an official battle with the mob that Saturday at high noon. The mob sent a parrot to their headquarters saying 11 would work better with the schedules and so it was decided! A battle to gain all street cred of Cleveland!
At 11 that Saturday a crowd assembled to watch what bloodshed would occur. They saw the violets warming up, prancing around and the crowd grew nervous for the mob. As badass music sounded 4 figures approached from the shadows. They had swagger like no one had ever seen. They went to the center of the field and positioned themselves in a line. Sammy the bold on the right with Laura and crazy Maeve in the middle. Vaci ending it on the left. Maeve and Vaci did an intimidating handshake to further send the violets shaking in their shoes and a whistle blew…signaling the fight to begin. The violets came at them in a 4-3-3 formation attacking straight down the middle. It was even ground and though the mob was outnumbered they held their own. Somewhere between the 60-70th minute the mob pushed forward and the winner was soon decided afterwards. The mob had suffered a few blows but nothing to what the violets could handle. Running in terror the violets retreated back to New York City and the Murder Mystery Mob took over Cleveland. Other cities threaten to attack but the mob will always hold their own whether against the hood of Chicago(October 17) or the streets of Washington U(October 15 come watch!). No one really knows what the murder mystery mob looks like…some say they are titans stomping out all others while others say they are immortals living amongst us. All that is known is that you can tell who they are by the fact that each one has a braid going across their head. And so lives on…the legend of the murder mystery mob.
**Some details may be exaggerated in that the murder mystery mob had the help of about 23 awesome other players who actually scored/won the war J they just don’t have cool braids.
THE END
